


The Forest for the Trees

by fiddleblocks



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Jealous Matt, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, The Foggy/OMC ship is background
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-23 21:43:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4893394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiddleblocks/pseuds/fiddleblocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title taken from the proverb "You can't see the forest for the trees." For all his enhanced senses, Matt never noticed how Foggy felt about him. There was always something keeping him from picking up on it. It takes him a long time and almost losing Foggy permanently for him to figure it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Black Pine

"I thought I'd find you here," Karen said, taking her now usual stool beside Foggy at their favorite bar. She slid a $5 to Josie when the bartender gave her a glass and then swiped the bottle of rum Foggy had been nursing to pour herself a shot. "That was a rough case."

There was the loud ‘clack’ of someone playing pool before Foggy responded. “I hate custody battles." It had been a favor for a friend from college, a horrible case involving detailed accounts of abuse and a young kid too afraid of his father to testify. Winning hadn’t helped erase the memory of Lorna's bruises and the deadened look in her eyes. The rum was making it blur around the edges so there was that. "Never could stomach family law, too many sad kids..."

"I know what you mean..." Karen sighed and downed her shot before pouring out another. "I thought Matt would be here."

"Nah, he had stuff." Foggy couldn’t tell Karen that Matt was probably out beating the shit out of the deadbeat dad they'd just destroyed in court. Couldn't tell her that he was almost _glad_ that Matt was likely to put the guy in the hospital. Foggy lifted the bottle, poured a double shot and downed it with the slightest of grimaces.

"Stuff?" Karen asked. Foggy just shrugged. Karen tilted her head toward Foggy so the ends of her hair brushed against his shoulder. "Are things... are they going back to normal with you two?"

"What do you mean?" Foggy asked. He turned in his stool, wobbling slightly and put an elbow on the bar to steady himself.

The slightest flush of pink appeared across Karen's cheekbones. "I mean that something happened between you two a month ago and there's been a weird...." Karen shook her head and threw back another shot. "I don't know. I know you said it's personal but..." She bit her lip.

"I really can't talk about it without breaking a promise to Matt," Foggy said.

“That’s awfully selfish of him," said Karen. She scowled into her glass.

Foggy looked at her in surprise. "It sounds like you're mad at him."

Karen swirled the dregs of her rum around, still looking at her glass as she spoke. "Maybe this isn't the place to be talking about this but... I just think it’s really not fair.” She looked at Foggy, then. “You need to talk to someone about this. It's not fair of Matt to make you stay silent especially since he's the one who caused it."

"Me and Matt are working on being friends again." Foggy patted her on the arm. "It’s okay, Karen."

"But that's... I just don't understand. How can you be okay with that? I don't know what exactly happened between the two of you but I know a broken heart when I see one." Karen poured another drink but sipped at it rather than throwing it back.

It took a few moments for Foggy to understand what Karen had meant. He laughed. "I get it now..." He shook his head and turned back to face the bar. "Me and Matt are really close so I see how you might have thought we were... you know..."

"You’re not?"

Karen sounded so astonished that Foggy had to swivel around to look at her and nearly fell out of his stool. "Nope. Never. Not even in college where it sort of doesn't count." 

Karen frowned at her drink again. "It really seemed like there was something... intense between the two of you."

"So you thought we were dating? Despite all the women Matt goes through?" Foggy asked. It only just occurred to Foggy that there had been perhaps fewer women than he'd thought. Some of those nights, Matt was fighting crime, Foggy knew. Maybe all of them. But that train of thought was heading for a station Foggy had closed and barricaded the first week he'd known Matt. 

Plus he knew for a fact that there had been at least two women. 

"I don't know, Foggy," Karen said, blessedly derailing Foggy's dangerous train of thought. "I didn't think much about it until you two had your fight. I've never seen two men cry like that over each other if they weren't in love." 

Okay. This was hitting too close to home for Foggy so he drank more rum. "Interestin'." The tips of his fingers were losing feeling and it was becoming a struggle to keep his tongue in the right place when he talked. Time to stop. He capped the bottle.

"You are!" Karen said. Then she gasped and covered her mouth.

Foggy flinched but didn't deny it. He could lie for Matt because he had to. He couldn’t lie about this. Not to Karen.

"Does he know?" Karen asked.

Just like that, Foggy felt like he hadn’t had a drop of alcohol. Aside from the fact that he'd be a bit further from tears if he were sober. "I'm not sure," he muttered, coughing slightly. He swallowed hard. "I used to think I knew everything about him. After the fight... I don't know if he knows or not. He's never said anything about it."

"I don't think he does," Karen said. "He's never seen how you look at him."

Oh great. Like he didn't have enough to be mortified over.

“I'll walk you home. You can talk to me about it if you want but I won't press you. Just... you should talk to Matt." Karen stood and offered Foggy a hand. He was grateful for it when he stood and realized he was less steady than he thought he would be.

Karen never let go of his hand as they walked and she didn't try to talk to him either. They walked silently over puddles of unknown substances, under the flickering streetlights. Foggy was overwhelmed with affection for her when she left him at his door with a hug and kiss on the cheek.

* *

Foggy ignored Karen's advice about talking to Matt. He ignored the concerned looks she gave him the next morning at the office although he had a good time chatting with her about the merits of having a Hulk for an ally. This was before Matt roped her into his office to take notes for him. Matt was in his own office most of the day making phone call after phone call, trying to sort out a land dispute. This gave Foggy the space to think, which wasn't necessarily a good thing. As far as he was concerned, he’d been managing his unrequited crush on his own for years without ever burdening Matt with the knowledge of it and there was no reason to confess now, despite what Karen said. He was increasingly thinking it was unlikely that Matt didn't know about the crush, however. Foggy thought back to all the times his heart had started racing when Matt grabbed his elbow. Had Matt heard that every time and acted like it was nothing? Or all of the times he'd 'joked' about kissing Matt or complimented his looks, did some weird power Matt have clue him in on the fact that Foggy was at least half serious?

"Foggy!" Matt's voice broke him out of his paranoid thoughts and back into his dingy office.

"Yep." Foggy cleared his throat. He looked at Matt. His heart skipped a beat. Then started racing when he realized Matt probably heard it happen.

"I said your name three times," Matt said. He leaned toward Foggy licking his lips. Foggy wondered if he was tasting the air. "It’s getting late. Are you okay?"

"Ehh don't worry about me," said Foggy. He flapped a hand and heaved himself to his feet. "I made a dismissive gesture." His narration was automatic and now nearly always followed by a wince as Foggy remembered that it was pointless and he'd been doing it for years.

"Don’t be embarrassed," Matt said after a prolonged silence. "I like hearing your perspective."

"Yeah," Foggy grumbled. "Not to mention, Karen might think it's weird if I suddenly stop being your loyal narrator." Foggy walked around his desk and tried not to feel bad that his words had made Matt flinch. "She left already, right?"

"Visiting Mrs. Urich, I believe," Matt said.

“She’s one of the good ones!" Foggy grinned, glad to talk about anything but how not okay everything was. "Just when I think her heart must be full, she manages to cram a lot more caring into her tiny chest... and that came out wrong."

"I know what you meant, Foggy." Matt paused. "I have to say something." Cue Foggy's heart racing again and the near choking panic of knowing Matt can hear it happening. "I know that things between us are still not great but it's important to me that you know I really do like to hear you tell me about what you see, even if it's not completely necessary. It gives color to things. Your voice, it..." Matt grunted softly the way he did when he was frustrated with words. "It makes the world less dark."

”I believe you." Foggy's voice came out thin. He cleared his throat. Almost asked Matt what sound a heart makes when it gets broken. "I'm gonna go because this conversation is uncomfortable and it doesn't matter if I make up an excuse because you'll just know it's a lie."

"Foggy..."

"Matt. Don’t. Not right now." He was too riled up and likely to say hurtful things. Foggy walked past Matt, cursing silently in his head and wondered if Matt could somehow hear it.

**

A few weeks after that conversation, their workload had gotten light again. After such a prolonged period of being hectically busy, Matt was relieved to have less work to do. At least, at first he was relieved. After two weeks, he was miserable. He’d hoped that once they were less busy, that would mean he would have more time with Foggy. They still worked together every day but there was a horrible, gaping distance between them that Matt wasn’t sure how to breech. Unfortunately, with less work to do, Matt was seeing Foggy even less than when their caseload was full. These days, Foggy tended to stay shut up in his office most of the day after telling Karen a fib about having a lot of work to do. Matt tried to corner Foggy to invite him out for lunch several times but Foggy always managed to slip away. Now that they weren’t working quite as much, Matt had little to do but dwell on the distance.

It was in the air. A physical barrier separating the two of them. If they walked together, Matt used his cane rather than reaching for Foggy’s elbow the way he always had in the past. Foggy would know that Matt didn’t really _need_ to hold his arm. That truth had built a wall between all of Matt’s excuses for casually touching Foggy. If he thought of reaching out, the wall scraped against his fingertips and Matt withdrew. Nothing hurt quite like that.

Even though it was technically Foggy causing Matt all of this pain, his heart still quickened when he caught the faint smell of Foggy in the air, or heard the unique rhythm of his walk. It was just that now, his chest flooded with dread shortly afterward. If he took a step closer to Foggy, he’d fall into the gaping chasm that separated them. There was nothing Matt feared more than crossing that line and losing Foggy completely.

Matt went many nights in a row on no sleep, filling the gap between work with trying to clean up the streets.

Even when he slept, Matt never slept well. His dreams were often distorted, half-images filled in with the wrong colors or horrible full-sensory nightmares where he felt his fists splitting open again and again over every face he’d punched. He could hear the cracking of bones and taste blood on his tongue as he slept. Before his fight with Foggy, Matt had the occasional reprieve. He would dream of Foggy’s voice describing something to him and watch as his mind filled in the picture with sweeping lines of color. He would wake in the morning feeling refreshed but full of longing. Now that he and Foggy were hardly speaking, Matt seldom dreamed of Foggy’s voice and if he did, it was the same nightmare of Foggy finding out he was Daredevil. The taste of Foggy’s tears filling his throat and choking him. The pain of it fresh in his heart.

He often woke exhausted and filled with painful yearning.

When he did go to bed, it was a struggle to drag himself out of bed with the memory of Foggy asking him if he’d killed people drowning out his alarm clock repeating the time over and over. He slapped the thing off his end table and sat up, rubbing his face before opening his eyes.

Matt went through the motions of eating dry toast and putting on his suit. Then he walked to work, or more like _shuffled_. He really was pathetic these days.

As soon as he got to work, he went right to his office and got his laptop out to refresh his memory on some penal code or another. He didn’t know if he was relieved or deeply upset that Foggy hadn’t arrived yet. His fingers were skating over the braille display when he heard a knock on his door.

“Matt? Are you okay?” Karen was standing at his door and Matt lifted his head, pointing his face in her direction so she’d know he heard.

“I’m fine, Karen, did you need something?” he asked. Karen’s heart rate was slightly elevated and Matt could hear her clothes moving as she shifted her weight to the left, she was about to say something awkward.

“I noticed you and Foggy haven’t been talking much,” she said. “I thought things were getting better between the two of you?”

Matt missed a beat. “I’m sure he’s just been busy.” He stood and buttoned his suit jacket almost unconsciously. “Don’t worry about us, Karen.”

“I just…” Karen cleared her throat. She was crossing her arms. She was annoyed with him but trying to act neutral. “When you don’t both seem completely miserable, I’ll stop worrying.”

“You think Foggy seems miserable?” Matt asked. 

“All I’m saying is that something is still not right and you two need to figure it out.” The scrape of her shoe on the carpet told Matt that she was widening her stance, subconsciously readying herself for a fight. “I thought you were going to work all this out weeks ago. Foggy won’t tell me what happened because he said he promised you but he clearly isn’t talking to _you_ about it either and if it really is your fault, you need to fix it.”

Matt was silent for a few moments and then his shoulders slumped. “I know. I just don’t know how to fix it. But I am trying. We’ll get there.” 

“Maybe if you’d tell me what happened, I could help,” Karen said.

“I lied to him,” Matt admitted. “I can’t… really get very specific but it was a pretty big lie.” Matt swallowed hard. All these long weeks later and he was still getting choked up when he talked about that fight. His heart began to race a moment before he realized that the reason was he could hear Foggy’s footfalls from a few blocks down. His ears had honed in on the sound without him noticing. That was new. 

“...oh,” said Karen. Matt could practically hear Karen formulating a completely inaccurate theory by the sound her facial muscles made. “I don’t know what you can do aside from never lie to him again.”

“What makes it worse is that Foggy has never lied to me.” Matt could smell Foggy now. He was a few minutes from walking back in with a bag of donuts and coffee that had been sitting in the pot for four hours before Foggy ordered it. “He’s always been so unfailingly honest only to have me not trust him with the kind of thing you shouldn’t hide from your best friend.” Foggy smelled _incredible_ it was utterly distracting.

“I still don’t really understand what’s going on, but the two of you are obviously very important to each other.” Karen stepped around Matt’s desk and hugged him. “I’m sure you’ll work it out if you just….” She stepped back. “Talk.”

“Yeah,” Matt said. Foggy was close enough that Matt could hear his heart beat. It was always slightly elevated, at least it was often when Matt chose to focus on it. He usually made a conscious effort to block it out but Matt didn’t have the mental fortitude to try at the moment. The sound was so enticing. Matt was so focused on Foggy’s approach that he barely noticed Karen excusing herself. 

Matt sat back down at his desk. He felt restless and on edge, focusing with all of his being on Foggy’s scent, his heart, his foot steps, the sound of his hair brushing against his shoulders. The taste of his sweat and cologne and toothpaste in the air had Matt breathing slow and deep almost to the point of making himself dizzy. When the click of the door opening followed by the slight change in air pressure let Matt know Foggy had walked in, his heart was thudding somewhere in the vicinity of his throat. He took a deep breath and stood when he heard Karen and Foggy exchange greetings.

Matt stepped out of his office, near enough to Foggy to feel the heat of his body radiating off of him. 

“Oh, hey, Matt!” Foggy said, the cheeriness in his voice nearly convincing enough to fool Matt. “I got you one of those donuts you like.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you, thanks,” Matt said. He stepped forward and held out a hand, Foggy handed him a donut wrapped in wax paper. Matt’s fingertips burned and tingled where they briefly made contact with the back of Foggy’s hand. 

“And an eclair for you, Miss. Page,” Foggy said. Matt heard the crinkling of the bag and smelled chocolate, fry oil, cream, sugar and a hint of the cashier’s perfume as Foggy passed an eclaire to Karen. 

Mostly, Matt’s senses remained irrevocably focused on Foggy. He was listening more to Foggy’s breath and the sound of his movements than his heart beat now and all other sounds had seemed to fade away. He could only smell Foggy, the donut he was eating, the variety of scents on his clothing. His sense of touch picked up only Foggy’s heat and the pressure changes and air movement around his body. He “saw” Foggy far more clearly than he ever “saw” anything these days and he swore for a moment, he could see _precisely_ how handsome he was. 

“Earth to Matt…” Karen said.

“I’m sorry, what?” Matt asked. “I was distracted.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were staring off into space,” Foggy said. It took Matt a moment to realize that awkwardness in his voice was likely because Matt’s face had been pointed in his direction while he’d zoned out. It was probably pretty creepy to have a blind man “stare” at you. 

“I was saying that I needed your signature on an invoice, Mr. Murdock,” Karen said, her voice playful.

Matt smiled. He only just remembered to feel for Karen’s desk before setting his donut down on it then he reached out his hands for the pen and clipboard Karen was holding. He waited. “You’ll have to show me where to sign,” he said.

Karen’s hand felt small and cool against Matt’s as she guided his hand to where his signature was supposed to go. He couldn’t help but compare her hands to Foggy’s even though he knew it wasn’t fair. 

“You’re showing her an awful lot of trust there, Murdock,” Foggy said. Matt picked up the note of jealousy in his tone that he wasn’t sure Foggy had intended to let through. “She could be having you sign away your soul.”

Matt turned toward Foggy, silent for a few breaths. “I trust Karen not to take advantage of me and I trust you to make sure no one ever tries.” Matt signed the paper, not knowing and not caring what it was for. Foggy’s words really shouldn’t have hurt him so much. 

There was an extended awkward silence. Matt focused on Foggy’s heart-beat. It was erratic but he’d expected that.

“Umm…” Karen said. “I’m going to go to the post office. Then… if it’s alright, I think I’ll head home.”

“Sure, Karen,” Matt said. He’d barely heard her voice after the thunderous sound of Foggy’s racing heart. 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Foggy said. His voice was like a klaxxon and Matt fought the impulse to wince. 

Once Karen was far enough away that Matt was sure she wouldn’t overhear, he turned back to Foggy. “We need to talk,” Matt said.

There was a paper-crinkling sound as Foggy fiddled with the bag. “Yeah, I know.” He blew out a long slow breath. It felt like a gale-force wind to Matt. “Sorry about the soul thing-”

“Don’t worry about it.,” Matt said. “I wanted to touch-base, see how you’re feeling about…. everything.”

“You mean you can’t tell?” Foggy asked. 

“Can’t… tell?” Matt asked, frowning in confusion. “Oh. You mean because of my senses. No, I can’t tell exactly how people feel. Biological responses to certain emotions are nearly identical to vastly different emotions. I can get a vague idea but without context, it’s worthless.”

Foggy was quiet. Matt noticed his heart rate slowing down but he didn’t know at all what that meant. “You know me really well, though. Doesn’t that make it easier?”

“It depends on the emotion. I can tell if you’re angry or sad or happy but anything more specific than that would just be an educated guess. I’m no better at reading your emotions than you are at reading mine, probably.” Matt shrugged. “I certainly can’t tell what the _cause_ of any of your emotions might be.”

“You can tell when I’m lying, though, or if I’m hungry,” Foggy said.

“You can probably tell if _I’m_ lying by any number of cues you pick up by looking at me. And anybody could hear your stomach growl when you’re hungry, it’s really not that impressive. I do _try_ not to eavesdrop on your involuntary reactions. Sometimes, I can’t help what I pick up on.” Matt was getting pretty nervous. He still couldn’t hear anything that wasn’t Foggy related. It was like the rest of the universe had simply fallen away and Foggy was all that was left. Anything not touching him didn’t exist.

Including Matt.

“Your weird… ninja powers are still going to take some getting used to,” Foggy said. Matt did a private victory dance in his head when he felt a slight increase in Foggy’s heat and heard his feet scuffing against the carpet as he moved toward Matt. “I’m still a little freaked out by it. I don’t know what you can do.”

“I want to help you get more comfortable with it. Foggy, I…” Matt pursed his lips, not wanting to let too much slip. “I’m being selfish but I need you. I need someone who knows about me and what I can do. Someone I can talk to. Not just that. I need _you_ specifically. I don’t know how to explain it but I’ve been worse than useless without you.”

Matt listened to the slight change in Foggy’s breathing. That he could interpret as concern but only because he knew the context. “I’m still here, buddy. I’m always gonna be here.” Foggy took another step forward and held Matt’s hand. Every molecule in that hand seemed to vibrate and spark. 

“I know.” Matt cleared his throat. He was getting choked up again. “But these past few months, there’s been a distance between us. I hate it. It feels like I’m missing a limb.” Matt pursed his lips again. 

“Jeez.” Foggy hugged him tight and Matt focused on his heartbeat again. It calmed him and grounded him and while being hugged by Foggy, Matt was less concerned by the fact that the whole world had disappeared around them. It was almost a relief to have such quiet for once. “We’re going to be just fine, Matty. Don’t go to pieces on me.” Foggy stepped away but left a hand on each of Matt’s shoulders. “I’ll admit, I was avoiding you a little but it was stupid and I’ll stop now.”

“Thank you, Foggy. Really.” Matt smiled and he perceived Foggy smiling in return as a beacon of light that burned his eyes even though he couldn’t really see it.

**

The places Foggy had touched Matt were warm and tingling for days. It was a sweet sort of torture to imagine glowing burns imprinted on him by Foggy. Things had gotten less strained and awkward with them after their conversation at the office. There was still a space between them but it felt more like the gap of a missing stair than a bottomless pit stretching for days in every direction. He was contemplating this on a rooftop one night when he heard something he couldn’t ignore.

“Help! Som’n help!” Faint but close enough that Matt could reach him in minutes. He hurried down the fire escape and dashed down the alleys until he was standing around the corner from the distinct sounds of someone’s fists repeatedly connecting violently with flesh. 

“You’re going to kill him if you keep that up.” He said, rounding the corner and standing behind the assailant. He heard three heart beats. Shit. She was pregnant. Far enough along that Matt could hear the fetus’s heartbeat

She lunged at him, while Matt was still processing the fact this woman was pregnant. He was too startled by it to react when she struck his solar plexus with her elbow, using the full force of her weight. Matt went down. 

"Hey, fuck you!" She aimed a kick his ribs and Matt rolled out of the way. He had to think fast. There was no way he knew of to incapacitate a pregnant woman without harming the fetus. 

 

Matt took a split second to register the sounds of the woman's victim hobbling away then he bolted.

"Better run you masked piece of shit!" The woman screamed. 

He ran several blocks until he reached a dumpster that would let him scale a fire escape. He climbed up the side and started running and hopping from roof to roof, not entirely certain where he was headed but determined to get there.

What the actual _fuck_ just happened? Matt had never run from a fight but what else could he do?

The adrenaline was wearing off and Matt skidded to a halt on what he immediately recognized as the roof of the building Foggy lived in. He laid down, flat on his stomach and pressed his ear to the roof, listening intently for Foggy’s heart-beat. Foggy was awake.

Matt crawled to the edge of the building and felt the ledge, counting bricks to the fire escape. He climbed over, trusting his senses and dropped, landing lightly on the fire escape below. It rattled slightly but Matt moved quickly, judging the number of windows he passed by the change in air pressure and stopped just before Foggy’s window. He could hear Foggy moving around inside so he slipped his phone out of his pocket and used the voice command to text him “I’m on your fire escape.” Not ten seconds after Matt heard the harp glissando sound Foggy had as his text tone, the window opened and Matt stepped inside.

“Whoa,” Foggy said. Matt heard him take a step backward, knew Foggy was looking him over. “The new suit looks _great_ up close.”

Matt laughed and took off his helmet. “Do you have anything I can change into?”

“I take it you’re not gravely injured or anything?” Foggy asked, his voice going softer as he walked away. When he came back, Matt could smell laundry detergent before Foggy handed him a sweatshirt and sweatpants. 

“I’m fine.” Matt set the clothes on the back of Foggy’s chair and started changing. Foggy closed the curtains before Matt stripped naked. 

“You should warn me before you start stripping in my living room, Matt.” Foggy laughed. “So…? What were you doing on my fire escape? Writing a soliloquy about my hair?”

Matt laughed a little harder than before. “Surely not,” he said and it took him a moment to pull a straight face. “Actually, I came by because something weird happened.”

“Weird like aliens?” Foggy asked.

“No, weird like I ran from a fight,” Matt said, hastily. The clothes smelled like Foggy once Matt had them on. He’d been prepared for that, though. 

“No you didn’t,” Foggy said. “Are you serious?”

“I couldn’t fight her, she was pregnant,” Matt said, shrugging.

“You shouldn’t fight a woman in the first place!” Foggy’s righteous indignation was almost cute enough to make Matt laugh again. “Wait, was she a criminal?”

“She was beating a man senseless with a baseball bat,” Matt said. “I don’t know what the problem was but she was healthy and uninjured. Just extremely angry.”

“I’ve heard those hormones can do a number on certain women’s emotions.” Foggy sank into his chair once all of the clothes were off of it. “I still don’t understand, though. You ran from a fight. To… me?”

Matt rubbed his chin and nodded. “I’m not actually sure why I… I ran away and ended up on the roof of your building.”

Foggy was quiet for a moment. “Do you want a beer?”

“Yes,” Matt about moaned the word with relief and he sat down on Foggy’s couch. The most comfortable couch there ever was, Matt was certain. The fact it smelled so much of Foggy was a sweet sort of torture. 

Foggy was chuckling when he went to get a fresh six pack of that beer Matt loved. He set it on the table and opened two with the bottle opener on his keychain before handing one to Matt. Foggy sat on the couch next to him. 

Matt drank the first half of his beer in silence.

“How many women have you fought?” Foggy asked.

Matt groaned. “Three. If you don’t count the pregnant woman. Did you see the bruises? I didn’t touch her but she got me a few times.”

“I looked away when you were changing, Matt. I thought you could tell,” Foggy said. 

Matt shook his head. “I wasn’t paying attention to where you were looking. It’s disorienting to focus on spatial awareness outside of my clothing when I’m changing.”

“Huh…” Foggy said. “Doesn’t that make you feel really vulnerable?”

“Typically… yes,” Matt said. He took a long sip of beer. 

“All the women you’ve fought, they… did you…?”

“I didn’t hurt any of them very much, Foggy. Twice, the women attacked _me_ and I had to defend myself. The third woman… she was a really terrible person, Foggy. I don’t even want to talk about what she was into because it’s sick and I’d prefer to forget about it.”

They both drained their beers.

“Anything that gives you that look on your face, I don’t wanna know, Matt,” Foggy said. “I know I said I wanna know everything but there might be some things you experience that nobody should have to know.”

“That’s a choice I make,” Matt patted Foggy on the arm. “I’ll keep the specifics of the bottom of the barrel types of things out of our conversations. You’re so _good_ and optimistic and you want to see the best in everything. I don’t ever want you to lose that.”

Foggy laughed. “Sheesh, Matt, you’ve only had one beer.”

Matt opened another beer for each of them, taking Foggy’s keys off the coffee table to do so and he didn’t pretend to search for them. 

“How did you know where they were?” Foggy asked.

“I heard where they landed earlier when you dropped them,” Matt said. “I can smell the metal and plastic and pinpoint the exact location if I didn’t have the auditory clue. I locate most things by smell, identify a lot by tasting the air.”

Foggy asked Matt a lot more questions about his senses until the beers were gone and they both fell asleep on the couch. Foggy actually fell asleep first. Matt decided to go to sleep several minutes later.

It was so easy. Falling asleep was never this easy anymore.

**

Waking up next to Matt Murdock was pretty nice. Even though Foggy’s mouth tasted like a drain and he had a crick in his neck from sitting somewhat upright if slumped over the back of the couch. And the fact that Matt had kicked him awake. That hadn’t been Matt’s fault, though. He’d obviously still been asleep.

Even though it was their day off, Foggy showered, shaved and got dressed. He wore jeans and a tshirt rather than a suit, though. Then he went on to make them both breakfast since Matt was still sleeping on the couch. Foggy assumed it was the smell of pancakes that woke Matt because he heard his friend yawning and stretching from the next room shortly after the first scoop of batter was on the griddle. “Good morning, sunshine,” Foggy said. 

“What time is it?” Matt asked, walking into the kitchen.

Wearing Foggy’s clothes.

Foggy hadn’t thought that through the night before. Matt’s hair was all mussed and his face was pink on one side from having slept on his arm. He was adorable. Foggy knew Matt could hear his heart-beat speeding up. “U-uhm, it’s nine,” Foggy said, glancing at the wall-clock. “Ish.”

“Really?” Matt asked. He looked actually amazed. “What time did we go to sleep?”

“One in the morning? Pretty sure.” Foggy flipped the pancake and didn’t look at Matt. But Matt was quiet for too long so Foggy _had_ to look. “What?”

“Your couch is really comfortable, Foggy. I haven’t slept eight hours straight in… _years_.” Matt chuckled and shook his head.

Foggy laughed and returned his attention to cooking breakfast. “That’s stupid, Matt. You were all curled up like a pretzel. No way that was comfortable. My neck is all messed up from sleeping the way I did and that, at least, made sense.”

“My sleeping position was perfectly comfortable.”

“Whatever you say.” Foggy finished cooking breakfast, occasionally trading good-natured barbs and banter with Matt and then they sat down to eat.

“It’s been too long since I’ve had your cooking,” Matt said after wolfing down a whole pancake practically at once. “Nobody makes pancakes like Foggy Nelson.”

“Quit it, Matt, you’re making me blush,” Foggy said.

"I'm aware. You blush a lot, it's..." Matt shrugged and ate another pancake. "I take it your skin is very fair in color?"

"Good old Irish genes," Foggy said. "My little sister is a redhead."

"What color are your eyes?" Matt asked. "It just occurred to me that I don't know."

"Green. Not bright green, though," Foggy said, rubbing his chin as he thought of how to describe the shade. "Like... like seaweed but lighter?"

"You mean moss?" Matt said. "Foggy... can I touch your face?"

"Why?" Foggy said much too quickly. "Wasn't the one time enough?"

Matt looked like he was chewing the inside of his cheek. "That was four years ago and you... you didn't like it so I barely got a glimpse."

Foggy stared at Matt. "What do you mean? I didn't like it. How could you tell? I didn't ask you to stop."

"You were uncomfortable," Matt said. He’d stopped eating and he was shifting awkwardly in his chair. "Your heart was racing and you smelled like fear."

Foggy was silent.

"I don't... I don’t understand why it bothers you, Foggy. Some people just get panicky when their faces are touched. It's alright if you can't-"

"No, Matt. I'm your best friend. You should get to know what I look like," Foggy said, hoping he didn't sound like he was forcing his cheerful tone. He didn't want Matt to go digging down that hole. "I thought you had the idea. Don't worry if I get nervous again. I want you to know." 

Matt stood and brought his chair over to Foggy’s side. He sat back down and Foggy’s heart was already skipping beats but he took several deep breaths. He knew he didn't need to but he took hold of Matt’s outstretched hands and brought them up to his face before closing his eyes.

Matt's hands were incredibly gentle, tracing the overall shape of Foggy’s face before doubling back and tracing individual features. Foggy kept taking deep breaths and after the initial weirdness, Foggy actually found it *relaxing*. Although he twitched and instantly got nervous again when Matt traced his lips. Of course that was the last part of Foggy’s face Matt chose to map.

Matt sighed and let his hands fall to Foggy’s shoulders.

"W-well?" Foggy asked, heart practically beating out of his chest. "You have a picture?"

"You have a beautiful face," Matt said. His voice trembling slightly. Matt cleared his throat and moved his hands closer to Foggy’s neck. 

Still touching him. Matt was still touching him and it was doing very unhelpful things to his brain. "Tell me something I don't know," Foggy replied. He sounded less sure than he'd meant to. "Matt, what's wrong? Your face is all scrunched up like you ate bad salad."

Matt chuckled. Even Foggy could hear it was forced. "Nothing." Matt pulled his hands away at last and Foggy could breathe again.


	2. Bristlecone Pine

“Have you been smoking?” Matt asked,the second Foggy walked into the office.

It was four weeks after their impromptu slumber party. Things had been much better between them since then but they were still working out the awkward pauses that wormed their way into their every day conversations.

Just like now.

“Hello, to you too?” Foggy said, brow drawn in false confusion. 

“To answer your question,No. I don’t smoke cigarettes." Foggy said as he stepped around Matt into their office. “I never have and I sincerely doubt I ever will.”

“You smell like an ashtray,” Matt pointed out.

“I don’t smell anything...” Karen said, walking over to Foggy. “Okay, yes, I smell it now. It’s very faint.”

“The smell sticks out to me,” Matt said. “Particularly when it’s clinging to my best friend, who I am sure knows better than to smoke tobacco.”

Foggy was going pink in the face at this talk. 

“I wasn’t smoking,” Foggy said. “Besides that, I find this interrogation to be highly insulting.” He breezed by them and went into his office to get to work. 

Foggy had been in **such** a good mood that morning, too. Now, he was itchy and irritated and _he_ could smell the stale cigarette smoke on his clothes, but he didn’t mind it. In fact, he was maybe just a little bit pleased by how much it seemed to bother Matt. 

Foggy was really pleased that it bothered Matt. Things were better but Foggy still had his petty moments.

Foggy managed to draft a _very_ promising opening statement for their trial that afternoon.

Foggy was looking forward to arguing this case. They were defending a homeless woman against an assault and battery charge, and Foggy had managed to find a video of the altercation on the internet that showed the woman who filed the original charge had been the one who instigated the fight. 

By the time Foggy was putting the finishing touches on his argument and sending it to the printer, there was a little patterned knock at his door.

“Come in!” Foggy didn't need to look up, he knew that pattern anywhere, Matt's little signature.

Matt did and he closed the door behind him. Never a good sign. 

Foggy closed his laptop and looked at Matt expectantly. “Yes, Mr. Murdock? Come to hassle me about how I smell again?”

Matt went red across his nose and Foggy fought down a smirk. 

“I’m sorry about that,” Matt said. “I was just concerned about you. I know you wouldn’t smoke."

“Damn right, I wouldn’t. Like I could subject you to me smelling like that all the time even if I _wasn't_ violently opposed to getting lung cancer,” Foggy said. “I went on a date with a smoker. It went well, I spent the night. That’s why I still smell like cigarettes. I was at his place all night.”

Matt was silent for a few seconds and Foggy realized belatedly that he’d admitted he’d had sex with a man last night.

Foggy had been _pretty sure_ Matt already knew he wasn't straight, until he saw the bizarre, frozen look Matt had on his face.

“Ah.” Matt said after far too long of a pause for Foggy’s liking. “That makes a lot more sense.” He smiled. “I’m glad to hear you're getting out there, Foggy. Are you going to see him again?”

“Uh….” Foggy coughed and rubbed his neck. “I’ve been seeing him for-for two months, actually. Just hadn’t… Y'know, spent the night.”

Matt was silent again, his expression frozen. 

It was unnerving. 

““That's a really old fashioned way of saying you had sex, Foggy. You didn’t tell me you were seeing someone,”.” Matt said at last, and his tone made Foggy’s heart skip a beat.

“I, uh…”

“Were you reluctant to tell me because… because there’s been some tension between us?” Matt asked. 

Foggy’s face was burning. He was sure Matt could feel it from where he was standing awkwardly by the door. “I… I never told you I… w-well, that I might-”

“That you're, what, bisexual?” Matt frowned, brow furrowed. “Why should that matter?” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses askew. “You thought I would react poorly to you being interested in men?”

“Pansexual, and… I don’t know!” Foggy threw his hands up and stood at last, rounding the desk to stand nearer to Matt. He couldn’t have this conversation with Matt looming over him. “Maybe I just… wanted to see if you could tell I was dating a man.” 

“Foggy…” Matt bit his bottom lip. “Have I ever done _anything_ that would indicate that I wouldn’t accept your sexuality?”

“No, no, of course not!” Foggy said, touching Matt’s elbow lightly. “It’s just not something I talk about. I should have told you a long time ago. I just… we were roommates. Some guys get weird about having a queer dude sleeping in the same room as them, even if they’re not homophobic.”

Matt sighed again and took off his sunglasses. “I’m guessing after a while it got to a point where it felt weird to bring it up?”

“Yeah,” Foggy said. "There haven't been any other guys since we met." Foggy hoped he could get away with that lie, since he was already beyond nervous now.

"Tell me about this smoker." Matt said.

Foggy blushed and smiled. “His name is Eric and he’s really nice. He’s in real estate. We’ve been on six dates.”

Matt’s entire face brightened when he smiled at Foggy. “That’s more like it,” he said softly. “You should feel free to tell me anything, Foggy. I can’t wait to hear all about Eric. You can talk about him on our way to court.”

“Wait, are you going to go 'check in' on him?”

“I've never, not once, dreamed of violating your privacy that way.”

Foggy blew out a breath and rolled his eyes. “You're a terrible liar, Matt.”

***

 

Foggy would have never guessed, just how little attention Matt paid to their conversation. Mostly, because Matt kept a convincing smile on as they walked to the courthouse and Foggy prattled on about the grand times he and **_Eric_** had.

Matt was genuinely happy for Foggy, he really was. Eric sounded like he was fairly well-off. Matt was glad Foggy was dating someone who could afford to spoil him.

After all, what did Matt have to offer aside from a barely profitable job in a run-down office and the occasional cheap beer? The constant worry that went along with knowing Matt's secret life wasn't an appealing side to any relationship.

Just like Claire, it made his chest ache but they were better without him. He could hardly even offer them full honesty.

At the very least, court went well. Matt asked Foggy to take the lead and they ended up getting the charges dismissed against their client almost immediately. Foggy let her hug him even though she still smelled like urine despite the fact that she'd showered at a church before court.

On their way back, Matt held Foggy’s elbow the way he always used to and it was a couple of blocks before Foggy said anything. 

“Do you need to do that? Hold my arm?” Foggy asked. “I’m not saying to stop,” he was quick to add when Matt’s fingers twitched against the back of Foggy's elbow. “I’m just curious. It’s for show, right?”

“Show?” Matt asked. He licked his lips, and Foggy wondered if he was tasting the air. “Oh, you mean to hide my senses? No, Foggy, it’s not just for show.”

“So you really do need help getting around on a busy street? I’m finding that kinda hard to believe, buddy.”

“Just because something isn’t strictly _necessary_ that doesn’t mean it’s not helpful. I can focus on other things if you’re guiding me. I can ignore some of the other input. It makes everything quieter.” Matt said in a bit of a rush. 

“Wait,” Foggy said. “I’m guiding you, so you don’t have to focus on where you’re going, and that makes everything… quieter? But if you don’t have to focus on where you’re going, doesn’t that free up your focus for other things? I’m just trying to understand how this works, Matt. You don’t have to look so pinched about it.”

“I’m not,” Matt said, his face going red. “It’s more that you... You make me less anxious.”

Foggy was quiet but he didn’t seem strained or stressed so Matt relaxed a little. “That makes sense,” Foggy said after a half minute of Matt hearing nothing but his breath and heartbeat. 

Another awkward silence stretched between them.

“Matt?” Foggy said. It was only then that Matt noticed they were back at the office. “Are you okay, buddy?”

“Yeah, sorry, I just spaced out for a second. Eric sounds wonderful, Foggy, really.” How spaced out had he been? He’d been so focused on Foggy. On smiling and nodding in all the right places, giving him the correct responses and just being _oh so happy_ that Foggy was dating _such_ a wonderful guy. He’d forgotten to pay attention to where Foggy was taking him. 

“Who is Eric?” Karen asked. “Is he the mystery man you’ve been seeing?”

Matt nearly gave a start. He hadn’t even _noticed_ Karen. When Foggy was around, everything else was damn near silence. 

Matt didn’t mean to hear Foggy’s heart start racing. It was the loudest sound in the room.

“You told Karen, before me?” Matt blurted out the question impulsively. Pretending to be really pleased that Foggy was dating someone had drained too much of his mental energy.

“No?” Karen said. A lie. An obvious one. Matt could pick it up even though he couldn’t hear her heart-beat over Foggy’s.

“Foggy…” Matt took a deep breath and shook his head. “It’s fine. I understand.”

“You do?” Karen asked. “Because I don’t think I do… Maybe you can explain it to me.”

“Karen, don't” Foggy started.

“No, Franklin,” Karen said. “I am… so _sick_ of this! You’ve both been acting so _weird!_ ”

She was about to cry. Matt could hear it in her voice, cry, or get very angry.

“I just don’t know what to do. There were months of this weird tension and silence and you were _so_ mad at Matt for a reason, that no one will tell me! I’m sorry, but I’ve just been w-worried f-for s-so long a-and-” That was when she started crying. 

Matt stood frozen and Foggy shushed her awkwardly and patted her on the shoulder.

“Don’t cry, Karen, please, don’t… It’s gonna be okay! Me and Matt are _**fine**_!” Foggy insisted.

 

“Listen to Foggy, Karen.” Matt said, tone solemn and he handed his cane to Foggy. “Foggy and I already talked about this. At length. You're right, you deserve better than this. You deserve the truth. I’m going to tell you why Foggy was mad at me.”

“Matt?”

“We’re closing the office and we’re going to have a long talk at my place.” Matt said. 

The journey there would at least give him time to think of how he was going to explain this all to Karen.

**

“Oh that is _hilarious!_ ” Karen exclaimed, shocking the hell out of both Foggy and Matt with this reaction. She was sitting on Foggy’s couch, while the lawyers stood side by side in front of her. 

Matt had just told her all about him being the Daredevil and a basic explanation of how his senses were enhanced.

“It’s not a joke, Karen, did you hear me correctly?” Matt asked. “I’m the Daredevil. I have enhanced senses and I-”

Karen scoffed. “Of _course_ you’re the Daredevil, Matt. It’s good to know _how_ you do it but, puh-lease. You rescued me, even terrified like I was, I figured out it was you.”

“How could you possibly have known?” Matt demanded. He could hear Foggy trying not to laugh along with Karen. Matt didn’t understand why. It wasn’t funny at all.

“Who else would have even known I might be in trouble? I was supposed to be sleeping in your apartment. Then you showed up and you thought I wouldn’t recognize you by the lower half of your face? I know we’d just met but…” Karen paused. “You have a very distinct mouth. And you were _blindfolded_ which was a really, really stupid move, Matt. I can’t even begin to tell you. It was sort of the main thing that gave you away. In a world of mutants and aliens and guys in flying robot suits, it’s not such a leap to think a blind guy could be a superhero.”

Matt stood there, mouth agape. He started to tell Karen that he was _hardly_ a superhero but she spoke again before he had the chance.

“Oh, wait, this is why Foggy was mad at you? Did you just now, tell him?” Karen said. Matt heard the cushions rubbing together as Karen shifted on the couch. “I thought he was just pretending not to know because he thought _I_ didn’t.”

“He never had the chance to tell me.” Foggy said. “I found him bloody and all, ugh, cut up in his apartment. That’s how I found out. I can’t believe I never said anything about the damn blindfold.”

Matt pinched the bridge of his nose. “You knew I was the Daredevil and you still decided to ask for a job? Why, Karen?”

“You can tell when people are lying, right? Well, I knew you’d come save me if I got in trouble. Plus, I get to work for a _superhero_ ,” Karen said. Matt heard her keys jingling in her purse as Karen lifted it onto her shoulder and he felt the air displace as she stood. “Thank you for trusting me with this, Matt. I’m sure you already know I can keep it a secret.” She kissed him on the cheek and left.

“Why were you trying not to laugh?” Matt asked Foggy once Karen’s footsteps had faded behind the impossibly loud beating of Foggy’s heart. 

“Karen’s reaction,” Foggy said. Truth. “I thought she’d freak out but she thought it was _funny_. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how she thinks. It was also a little bit the look on your face.”

Matt sighed and ducked his head. “Okay, I’ll allow that I probably looked ridiculous.”

***

It was maybe three minutes into their next day at work, Karen hadn’t even arrived yet, when he caught Matt wincing as he picked up a cup of coffee. “You got hurt, huh?” Foggy asked, frowning and feeling his heart sink into his gut at the thought of Matt in pain.

“My shoulder’s a little sore, that’s it,” Matt said. He licked his lips. “I got thrown into a brick wall last night. The suit took most of the impact. I’m okay, really. You should see the other guy.”

“That’s not funny, Matt.” Foggy said, leaned against the counter in their little makeshift kitchen area. 

“He was a real creep, Foggy, trust me. Bottom of the barrel.”

“Alright, never mind,” Foggy said. “Don’t go out until your shoulder feels better.”

“My shoulder will be well enough by tonight,” Matt said. “I promised I wouldn’t lie to you about this stuff, Foggy, this is what I do.” Matt walked into his own office. 

***

Things got tense after that. Foggy didn’t understand why. It was almost like Matt was intentionally being cold toward him. 

They kept working together. 

Kept winning cases but it felt like they’d somehow landed back at square one, yet again. 

Back to before Matt came to him in the middle of the night because he’d run from a fight. 

It was awful. Foggy could tell that Karen was getting nervous again but it seemed like Matt hadn’t noticed. Foggy tried to talk to Matt, tried to get him to go out and have a beer with him and Karen but Matt always declined. He flat out told them he’d be busy cleaning up the streets.

Foggy finally cornered him after work one Friday. “Matt, come on, it’s been a month.”

“A month since what?” Matt asked.

“Since you went all...quiet. You won’t _talk_ to me. Karen’s about to cry on us again, I can feel it,” Foggy said.

“Karen? Why is Karen upset?” Matt looked honestly bewildered and that just made Foggy angry.

“You’re… you’re not serious? She thinks we’re fighting or something because you never see us outside work anymore and you never talk to either of us here about anything but work anymore. It’s been a _month_ Matt. I…” Foggy swallowed around a lump in his throat. “I miss you. I need to talk to you sometimes, buddy. I thought we were past this stuff.”

“I’ve been busy with after-work activities, Foggy, I told you,” Matt said. “And it’s been wearing me out a bit. I haven’t had energy for much else besides work. I’m not… I’m not upset at you or avoiding you on purpose.”

“Yes, you are, Matt,” Foggy said. “I want to know why.”

“Please, Foggy, just… wait, alright?” Matt pleaded and he removed his sunglasses to do it. “I promise, I’m not mad at you. Please. Give me some time.”

Foggy felt like he was being played and he let himself fall for it anyway. “You’ll tell me?”

“Yes. Soon, once… once I’ve taken care of a problem, okay? I promise, just trust me.”

Foggy sighed. “Alright, Matt. I trust you.”

***

Foggy Nelson was in a state of high anxiety. It was 10:30 am and Matt had yet to come into work. He’d yet to return any of Foggy’s nine calls and four voice mails. “I’m going over to his place,” Foggy told Karen who also looked very nervous. “If anyone comes in while I’m out, take down their information and tell them I’ll get back to them tomorrow. I’ll call you when I get there.”

“Foggy, I’m… I’m sure he’s fine,” Karen said. “He probably over-slept and left his phone somewhere strange.”

“No, I haven’t heard from him since Friday,” Foggy said, pacing back and forth, working himself up even more. “He’s been acting weird ever since the big reveal. I was so preoccupied-!”

Karen's ears seemed to perk at this. “What were you preoccupied with, if not Matt Murdock?”

Foggy flustered. “Well-- Eric and I-- It sounds like _you're_ the one preoccupied-- Oh, it doesn't matter. I’m going.”

“Foggy…” Karen sighed. “Didn’t he mention a nurse that patched him up a couple times? Maybe you should check with the nurse."

“Oh, right,” Foggy paused in the process of putting on his coat and pulled out his phone. He’d never called Claire before and felt awkward doing it now.

“You’re looking for your partner, he's alive and still a reckless idiot.” Claire answered the phone. 

“Oh, thank God. He’s alive. Good to hear it,” Foggy said, mostly for Karen’s benefit.

“I would have called you, but he stopped me. He’s got a few broken ribs, some awful bruises. You know him, he’ll be on his feet before he should be.” Claire sounded exhausted. “I forced some painkillers on him. He’ll probably be out for at least another hour.”

“Thank you, Claire. You are a Goddess and a wonderful human being.” Foggy blurted out.

Claire laughed. “Always a treat, Foggy.” She hung up.

“Well?” Karen asked.

“Broken ribs. Claire sedated him for his own good,” Foggy muttered. “I guess there’s no sense in me going over there and yelling at him.” Foggy dialed Matt and left him a last voice mail.

“Thank you _very_ much for always, _almost_ giving me goddamn heart attacks. I talked to your friend and she says you’re mostly okay so call me when you wake up, buddy. Feel better. I love you. Moron.” 

Foggy hung up. “I really should have listened to my mom. Did I ever tell you she wanted me to be a butcher?”

“Please, not the butcher story again,” Karen said, chuckling. 

“Yeah, well…” 

“Tell me about Eric,” Karen said. “That’s probably a lot more interesting.”

Foggy’s face fell and he realized he probably didn’t need to say anything. “It is, but I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Say no more,” Karen said. “You probably want to talk to Matt about it before me, right?” She sounded almost accusatory.

“Yes, ma’am,” Foggy said. 

**

It was a minor miracle that Foggy got any work done that day. He deeply regretted not going to Matt anyway to make sure he hadn’t drowned in his own blood and Claire just hadn’t known about it. Claire was more than an able nurse but when noon approached and he still hadn’t heard from Matt, Foggy was pacing again, still in his winter-wear when Matt came into work.

“What the hell are you doing here??” Foggy demanded, stepping right up to Matt and tempted to clock him despite the fact he was already injured. “How are you walking? Why are you _here_? You should be in bed! Resting!”

“I’m fine-”

“Bullshit!” Foggy cut him off. “I’m taking you home, right now. This is just… I can’t believe… you’re coming into work with broken ribs. What kind of meshugganah nonsense is this, exactly?”

Matt winced. “You only speak Yiddish when you’re super mad. Just like your mom, it's... cute.”

Foggy gaped at Matt for a full ten seconds before he could find his voice. “Oh my god, what did Claire give you?” Foggy asked.

Karen giggled. “Foggy speaks Yiddish?”

“Only the rude kind,” Foggy said. “But that’s beside the point.”

“You should have heard him that time the professor… what’shisname?” Matt asked. “When he accused Foggy of plagiarism.”

“I really don’t wanna talk about this right now, Matt,” Foggy said, face going red.“We’re getting you home. We’re taking a cab and you’re going to pay because you came into work high, Matt. High and injured.”

“No, no, no, I’m really okay, Foggy, really,” Matt insisted even as Foggy was steering him out of the office and instructing Karen to follow his earlier instructions and to leave whenever she wanted to.

“No, really, you’re not,” Foggy said, guiding Matt down the stairs and out to the street. “This is about twelve different levels of fucked up. Can you even feel your broken ribs?”

“I can’t feel much, it’s wonderful.” Despite this, Matt seemed fairly certain on his feet and he’d managed to walk to work _somehow_ and Foggy was going to demand an explanation as soon as they were safely in Matt’s apartment. 

“You, a blind man, walked all the way to work without a cane,” Foggy said. “This is a disaster. It’s a good thing we’re not due in court today.”

“I have a low tolerance for medicine, Foggy,” Matt drifted slightly and Foggy was suddenly supporting a lot more of Matt’s weight. “I never take stuff like this. Claire _made_ me. Practically sat on me and forced it down my throat.”

“I can’t believe this, Matt. I really can’t.” Foggy hauled Matt into a cab and gave the driver the address. 

“You don’t smell like cigarettes at all,” Matt said.

“I don’t smoke, Matt.” Foggy said. “I never have.”

“No, but… you've smelled like it lately. You don’t now. Your hair smells nice.” Matt was smiling a doped-up grin, like Foggy had seen in college when Matt finally got plastered.

“I’m not talking to you about anything of substance until you sleep this off, Matt. So you might as well just be quiet. I am _furious_.” 

They were both silent for the rest of the cab ride and Matt didn’t try to talk to Foggy again even as Foggy helped him out of his suit and into bed. Although Foggy caught Matt sniffing his hair a few more times.

Foggy had two hours to sit on Matt’s couch, contemplating how his choices in life had brought him to this point. He spared a few minutes to wonder how Matt had managed to put on a suit properly in his state let alone how he’d gotten to work and not ended up in New Jersey or actually down an open manhole. 

***

When Matt woke, he groaned and Foggy heard it, even in the living room. 

"Oh good," Foggy said, sitting up straight. "Are you lucid this time? Remembering how ridiculous you were?"

"Yes, Foggy, I’m sorry." Matt said. He sat down next to Foggy on the couch. "It was a stupid move but I honestly didn't realize what I was doing."

“I believe that. It makes a lot of sense."

"Are you still mad at me?" Matt asked. He reached out hesitantly for Foggy’s arm.

Foggy let out a watery sigh. "I... S-sorry, I'm-"

Matt touched his partner's shoulder, feeling his badly concealed trembling. "Foggy, I'm sorry. I didn't know.”

"M-Matt it's not..." Foggy took a shaky breath. "E-Eric- he-... S-Saturday a-and... I wanted to talk to you b-but you've..."

“Oh… Foggy,” Matt said, agonized. He wrapped his arms around Foggy and let him cry it out against his chest. “What did he _do_ to you?”

Perhaps it was the fire behind Matt’s words that distracted Foggy from crying. Either way, he started calming down fairly quickly and moved away from Matt, wiping his eyes. “This past month I’ve felt like something was wrong between me and him and I kept trying to talk to you.” Foggy sniffled. “I needed to talk to you. I… h-he… th-there was another man.”

“I'm going to-”

“No, Matt,” Foggy cut him off before Matt could even finish his remark.

Matt scoffed. “You don’t know what I was going to say.”

Foggy managed a laugh. “I know you, Murdock. No. You can’t kick his ass.”

“What abou-”

“You can’t kick the other guy’s ass, either.” Foggy said. “Be serious. You're not allowed to go off to defend my honor. The guy was his major ex, a professor? Biology or genetics. They knew each other for a long time...” Foggy sighed and slumped against the back of the couch. “I really liked him, Matt.”

“I know you did. You’ve been really happy. It’s nice.” He put an arm around Foggy’s shoulders.

“Did you take care of the problem, Matt?” Foggy asked. “The reason you were avoiding me?”

Matt stiffened and pulled away, frowning at Foggy. “You want to hear about that _now_?” he asked.

“Yeah, now is good,” Foggy said. “You know, we’re already talking.”

“It was Stick.” Matt said. “He’s gone now. Left the city. It took a few weeks but I got my message across.”

The couch shifted under Foggy as he moved away from Matt. “Stick is the reason you were avoiding me?”

“Yes, Foggy,” Matt said. He licked his lips. “Stick… he has this insane idea that people who do what I do shouldn’t have anyone close to them. I’ve… I’ve believed that for some time now, even though I thought I didn’t. Deep down…. some part of me always had to push people away.”

“Okay? So you were pushing me away because of this insane idea an old man has?” Foggy asked. He was starting to sound angry.

“I was afraid of what he’d do to the people close to me.” Matt rubbed his aching ribs and leaned back against the couch. He nearly leaned off over the arm-rest and fumbled to catch himself. “I kicked his ass all over Hell’s Kitchen until he finally left."

Foggy groaned. “You could have _told_ me before you started avoiding me.”

“I’m sorry, Foggy. You’re right. I should have.” Matt sighed. “I should read you in on things but Stick… the stuff with him is very personal and hard to talk about.”

“Alright,” Foggy said. “It’s okay, Matt. You’re still learning how to let people be close to you.”

Matt nodded and heaved himself up. “Wait here.”

“Should you be up and walking around?” Foggy protested and Matt heard him start to stand up.

“I’ll be back in a second and you can force me to lay down all day and night if you want just wait here for a second.” 

Matt walked to his bedroom and took a box out of the top of his closet. He found two paper bracelets and felt for the one made of newer paper. He brought that back to the living room and sat back down beside Foggy. 

“Here.”

Matt heard the paper scrape against itself as Foggy held it up to examine it. “A paper bracelet?” Foggy asked. “What’s this paper?”

“You tell me,” Matt said. “I can’t read it.”

Matt knew the moment Foggy figured it out by the slight hitch in his breathing. “This is that contract Landman and Zach tried to get us to sign?”

“Yep,” Matt said. 

“You made it into a bracelet?” Foggy asked, bewildered. “Why?”

Matt shrugged. “It’s for you, Foggy. I… wanted to give it to you a long time ago but I was worried it would seem strange.”

Foggy laughed. “Just seems like you, Matt.”


End file.
